Alien Postage

Don't take it from me, aliens have a way of upsetting the natural order of things so that what you thought was safe and secure is really a mine field waiting to explode. In the winter time, things freeze over and die - in the spring time they are reborn, in the summer they burn to death and I guess in the fall they're just like, chilling.

I learned about how the aliens like trailer parks and birds some more, and and and, I got to leave earth, I floated in outer space for a while. I'm so glad for all the support on the end of alien violence, since I asked for help, things have been so much better between the aliens and myself. They take my advice and everything and they usually have great advice to give also.

The other day when I woke up from my deep coma after the fight... I woke up to a lovely surprise... a rose for me to eat. Well, there was a note attached and it was written in some language that I didn't really understand before but now I do understand. It said simply that if I ate the rose, happily and delighted, I would grow wings and fly to outer space and possibly meet more aliens and learn more about the alien life. I guess it kinda felt like being on one of those reality shows... OOOOOH! TYRA MAIL!!!!! Except it's alien mail.
So they're still doing that thing where they take pictures of me... they did this one and wrote me a note saying that I have a ridiculously large forehead. Whatever. Anyway, I ate the rose...
And flew... and saw birds... and alien kids and the alien day care.

In outer space, you get this remote that lets you control the temperature in your personal bubble. You actually get to see your bubble and it stays pretty clean most of the time but when you feel things they show on your bubble... confusion etc...

I dunno, it feels like ever since I started going to outer space more regularly you never really know what you'll see. Last year this time, I was writing things in my blog about ... what was wrong.

Now here I am flying, floating, gloating, I don't know which really. I would still write if you cut off my fingers - the aliens assure me that no one will ever cut off my fingers. They told me to listen to as much Don Omar and La India as I wanted and to play it really loud with my window open... they told me to be nice to ducks... they also told me to make sure I write on blogcritic.com at least one article a week about something. About something? Well what the hell is there to talk about?

I say, there's plenty to talk about... besides book fairs and book worms and things like that. There is scary stuff out there that goes on every day but we won't let that into outer space personal bubbles will we? We can go there and then come back for practical applications with all the edge taken off.

At the end of the day, they inserted a thing into my head... said it was my third eye chakra or something like that... something to do with the number six, I dunno - clairvoyance something or other. They inserted it and said that I was a psychic wonder suddenly, it came with eating the rose also. They said that I wouldn't be able to pick up on everything but somethings I would have total clarity on. They told me it was okay to be self obsessed and to chronical every bit of the new birth. Oh they said it didn't technically have anything to do with the New Year since it happened days before it. I predicted, and accurately so, that New Year 07 was a year to totally let go and trust. I predict that it's a year to be more reflective and not be sooooooo outrageously in anyone's face but to be in your own face, in your own space and in your own bubble, cleaning and feng shui-ing it out.

I predict that the word microcosm is going to be used a lot... and I also predict great things for the future of InstantJoy - and accurately so. I love uniting with aliens. Aren't we all, just aliens - in this outer space world. Let's all listen to the Rapture and dance around our rooms like evil hooligans. Shall we?

More later probably...

Oh but wait, I wanted to also really quick talk about the whole thing on 20/20 about there being no more privacy. What is it with privacy anyway that makes me sick to my... oh wait, there is no privacy, aliens watch me from the vents and send me pictures of myself... if you didn't see that episode of 20/20, there was great big talk on it about blogging, and flogging - no not flogging, I just wanted to rhyme that out... There was great big talk on there about there being so much stuff about people's personal lives on the internet. One guy sent a video of himself to get a job and then it ended up on the internet and he said something about how he thinks his dream of getting on wall street is now dashed because of that whole thing... He embarrassed himself he feels now... Is it a way to instill more fear I wonder? In the general public, to put messages out there about how you're being watched and what not.

Aliens watch through vents.

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